4 Tips To Get Ahead Of Burn Out
I often see so much out there on how to manage stress and burn out, but most of the time it’s doing something AFTER the fact or finding ways to cope with it in the moment. It's important to consider that burnout is not necessarily inevitable, it can be prevented from happening or at least getting so bad in the first place. The more we slow down and learn the signs that we are headed there, put the self care SYSTEMS in place, and regularly take care of ourselves and listen to our bodies; the more we can get a handle on this.
Just a brief reminder, burnout is a state of deep mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion that comes from chronic and unmanaged stress.
Some signs of burnout:
Emotional exhaustion
Caring less about your job or people
Having no energy or desire to take care of yourself
Losing sleep, trouble with appetite, or over sleeping
Decreased enjoyment or getting something out of tasks, lack of purpose at work or in life
Numbness, depression, lack of feeling anything
Avoidance of responsibility
Feeling like nothing is left in the tank
Irritability or annoyance of people and things
Isolation and wanting to avoid people or loved ones
Getting sick, headaches, stomachaches, GI issues
Negativity, cynicism of job
Turning to old unhelpful coping strategies
Decreased productivity and creativity
Difficulty concentrating and focusing, forgetfulness
Tip #1: Slow Down, Learn The Warning Signs And DO Something About It.
Slowing down and get to know your warning signs. Although the above are common signs of burnout, it’s important to get to know YOUR signs personally. Everyone experiences it differently, but you need to start looking at the signs that burnout is on its way AND understand how stress impacts you to make sure you are managing that properly in the first place.
For example, if you are someone who loves socializing and seeing friends and then you notice yourself starting to have a desire to isolate - before you are full blown avoiding people, that’s a warning sign that something is going on. This is a sign that you need to do something about it. Maybe this tells you you need some alone time, some rest, some time to sit still. Often we know this, but we ignore it or neglect it and keep busy and keep going. Often we treat ourselves like machines thinking that we can go go go and nothing will happen. Sometimes, keeping super busy and having trouble sitting still is actually a trauma response and/or a way to avoid yourself.
Tip #2 Put Self-Care Systems In Place, Ahead Of Time.
Self-care looks like doing things that nourish your mind, body, and soul. It's the basis of taking care of yourself. Self care does shift so you need to check in with yourself to see what you need. Rather than waiting until you’re burnt out to take a week off, its important to implement this ahead of time and consistently. There are foundational systems you can put in place regularly to help prevent burn out in the first place.
For example, for me I know I need 7.5-8 hours of quality sleep to function at my best, to wake up and feel energized, and because I know it allows me to manage my emotions, stress, and anxiety better than if I got any less. Obviously getting exactly 8 hours every single night indefinitely isn't so realistic, life happens, events happen, and it's not always so easy. However, I do try my best and make that a priority. That means I get to bed earlier enough to make it happen, even when the urge to stay up is there. I know it's not worth it to not get the proper sleep.
Other examples - going to the gym or exercise class 2 times a week. This is a routine, this is a habit, this isn't a last second run because you're a little stressed. This is a consistent regular practice that helps regulate your mind and emotions. Another example is meal prepping on Sundays, so you can make sure you are eating throughout the week. Another example is having a weekly hobby you do for fun - pottery, painting, writing, piano, pickleball. Another example - weekly therapy! Not scheduling in last minute with your therapist once you’re stressed.
As with all, these are with nuance and flexibility. Life happens. These practices aren't always possible, but you try your best. It's also about prioritizing. Half the time we are choosing not to make taking care of ourselves a priority, for a number of reasons. Maybe you don't think you deserve to, maybe you don't recognize the importance, maybe getting so busy you can't slow down meets a need. But odds are you can make ONE system a consistent practice.
Tip #3 Rest and Have A Nothing Day Scheduled
Human beings in this day and age, struggle to rest and relax. When I say this, I don't just mean sleep. I mean slowness, intentional time to sit still and just BE. This doesn’t mean spend the day going for an exercise class and seeing one person, I mean have a day to yourself where you don't talk to anyone. Have a day where you do NOTHING productive. Have a day where you chill out, lay around, maybe you read, maybe you watch tv, maybe you go out for a light walk. But stop distracting yourself and try to bring present moment awareness. Try to go for a walk without listening to something. See what it feels like to have no plans.
Many of us try this and get super uncomfortable with what it feels like to just be alone with our thoughts. In fact, many of us purposely avoid this. Many of us are so wired from life, we sit still and feel restless or super bored. It's a practice, it takes time, but it's important. Your body needs rest. Your mind needs rest. You need to recharge the tank. You know that saying? If you wouldn't let your phone get to 0% battery, why would you let yourself? In order to be our best selves and show up in the world - we need to feel rested. Otherwise, your body will react. Otherwise, burn out and sickness will force you to slow down eventually.
Also, rather than feel you are being unproductive, reframe it that the rest day is productive because it allows you to recharge your tank. If you are currently on a therapeutic healing journey, you can feel burnt out from even doing that work. Give yourself permission to not do anything that involves self awareness and growth. Watch reality tv, read a fantasy book, spend time coloring. It's important to get space from it.
Tip #4 Put Boundaries Up With What You Can Take On
Because burn out comes from unmanaged or chronic stress, it’s important to say no sometimes to taking things on. This may mean learning when you need to say no at work to your boss. This may mean not going to a friends birthday because you don’t have the time. This may mean asking someone else for help with a task. This feels daunting because so many of us want to do everything for everyone and be everything to everyone, but that mindset burns us out. Putting that many expectations and pressure on yourself to do it all and have it all together is exhausting. If you tie how much you achieve and do to your worth - burn out may be a regular occurence for you.
Saying no may feel daunting or even impossible. Start small and practice what it feels like to say it and practice asking for help. Sit in the discomfort that it brings, because over time it will lessen. And, just a reminder that even if you have the “time and availability” to do something or go somewhere, that doesn’t mean you have to say yes. Again you don’t want to only say no when you are at the peak of burn out. You want to manage your time and how much you can give ahead of time so you don’t get there. This means looking at your schedule and scheduling in a weekend not to have plans and when your friend asks to hang this week, you say no even though you “technically could.” Treat it as just as important as a work meeting.
Putting it all together…
All in all the point is to be aware of what the signs are of stress, the warning signs that burn out may be coming, and start taking care of yourself regularly and consistently. Self love and self respect means that you care enough about yourself to do this. If you regularly find yourself burnt out and don't do anything about it, you're not treating yourself very well. Practicing self compassion is treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one when you are suffering, so self care is also a practice of self compassion.
When you have the systems in place, check in with your needs, properly rest and recharge and prevent burn out - you can show up as your best self. You will have the energy to do what you love, to connect deeper with people, to achieve more. You will show up with purpose.
If you would like to work on this in therapy, I would be happy to set up a free 15 minute phone consultation to see if it’s a good fit!
Email alyssakushnerlcsw@gmail.com or schedule a free 15 min phone call. Follow my instagram page for more learning, tools, and inspiration.
