7 Tips To Deal With Overwhelm When You’ve Got A Lot Going On.

Overwhelm is an emotion that indicates to us that we have a lot going on, lots of to-dos, and feel overpowered or overloaded by your thoughts, emotions, stressors, and tasks. It often leads to paralyzing us, shutting us down, and not leading to forward movement.

As a therapist holding two jobs and being someone who likes to be available to friends and family often, I find this as a recurrent emotion for me when I am not intentionally managing myself and my time. I was thinking a lot about why I was so overwhelmed lately and then took action which worked. So I wanted to share some tips on how to manage overwhelm.

First, it’s extremely important to look at how you know you are overwhelmed. Here are some signs of overwhelm:

• Irritability, getting easily annoyed or frustrated

• Feeling like you have never ending to-dos and so little time

• Feeling helpless 

• Difficulty making decisions or managing your time and tasks

• Isolating and withdrawing from loved ones or doing less of the things you love to do

• Turning to unhealthy coping skills like drinking or smoking more to cope

• Racing heartbeat, tension in your shoulders, clenching jaw, head and stomach aches, pain

• Shutting down, being paralyzed, doing nothing, decline in productivity

• Increased anxiety

• Crying

• Sleep changes and challenges, appetite shifts

• Fatigue

• Distractibility

Here are ways to manage and cope:

1. As always, you need to identify and realize you are feeling overwhelmed and identify the signs.

For me, the moment I take that second to realize I am in the midst of overwhelm its a good reminder to slow down. It’s validating to remember something is causing you to feel this way and there’s a reason why. It’s also important to identify what these warning signs are for you and where you are feeling it most in your body as well as behaviorally. Not everyone experiences all of the above signs, so look at how it’s showing up for you in particular because the next time you start feeling those signs, you may be more likely to catch it and do something before it gets too bad.

2. Think about what got you here and how it happened

I do try my hardest to look into the why, to make sure it doesn’t happen again and so I have a clear plan for how to manage. For example, when I was feeling overwhelmed this past week, I realized the previous weekend was spent with other people all 3 days, I had a commitment where I had to stay up later than normal each night, and I didn’t get any true rest time for myself. Additionally, I had a couple new clients and phone consultations, my regular work load, and had a few post work plans. The combination of all of my work stress, with a decrease in self care led me to feeling this way. It was an important reminder for me that, the reason I have boundaries around my weekends and intentionally get the sleep and rest I do and have time for myself, is so I can recharge and be my best self at work. Life happens and that’s okay, but it just reminded me how important that rest time is and why my self care practices really work.

3. Look at your to-do list and responsibilities and prioritize and sort them. Decide what you will NOT attend to.

When you are overwhelmed, often there is a lot going on. You may have work stress, personal life to-dos, and usually it feels like not enough time. An important way to manage this is to make a list of everything you have to do, and take the time to prioritize what needs to get done and what DOESN’T. Its called the “not-to-do list.” Then put together on the other side, the list of things that you may THINK you are responsible for or need to get done, but don’t actually have to do. There are going to be things you just don’t need to or can’t attend to and that’s okay. Let yourself have that. Focus on what’s most important and what you actually have time for.

4. Say no to something

Similarly, having boundaries around what you can take on or do right now is key. It can be work related, maybe you have to say no to a project, maybe you need to delegate something. It can be personally - for example, I said no to plans this Saturday after my overwhelm to intentionally take care of myself. Maybe it’s to yourself. For example, you may have wanted to go see a movie Friday night and stay up a little extra late, but you have to say no to yourself and stick with your boundary of getting enough sleep.

5. Move the energy out, RELEASE it

Overwhelm like stress and anxiety requires moving your body and releasing the energy. My self-care day I took a very long walk for part of the day and then I went to an hour long breathwork class (I highly recommend this). When I went into that class I was feeling tense and run down, when I came out I felt grounded, lighter, and clearer. Other examples of things you can do: go to the gym, take an exercise class, dance, shake it out, stretch, do yoga.

6. Get extra rest

Though it’s important to move your body, it’s also important to give yourself rest and stillness. Make sure you are getting 7-8 quality hours of sleep and also schedule a day or some time to literally do nothing. To not answer to anyone. To just be in quiet where you aren’t facing any tasks. To be with the present moment.

7. Make yourself less available

I understand this isn’t always possible, especially if you are a parent or run a business. But if you can get away with it, even for a few hours - don’t be available to other people. I personally get overwhelmed when I’m making myself too available to people and feeling like I have to answer to people immediately. During my self-care day, I put my phone notifications on DND and did not check social media. I didn’t respond to anyone for a bit and I let myself not have to be “on” for others. When I did get back to my phone I felt refreshed and not resentful.

I hope this sheds light into why you are overwhelmed and now you can have a better understanding of when you are on the path to it and then what to do about it. It’s tough in the heat of the moment, it’s ironic because you probably won’t feel you have time to do something about it. But you have to make that time. It’s not a badge of honor to keep pushing through and burning yourself up. Again, I know life happens and we have responsibilities we can’t give up, but a reminder you are probably burning your energy in other ways you don’t need to be.

One way to assure yourself you are dealing with overwhelm, managing overwhelm, and preventing overwhelm is therapy! If any of this resonates with you, I’d be honored to help you along your path.

Let’s set up a free 15 minute phone consultation to see if it’s a good fit!
Email alyssakushnerlcsw@gmail.com or schedule a free 15 min phone call.
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