8 Reflection Questions For The New Year

When the new year rolls around, we are quick to jump to goal setting, resolutions, and claiming new habits! This is all well intentioned, but we don't often stop and pause to actually look at our year. And when we do, our mind often makes blanket statements, “what a horrible year!” “I got nothing accomplished!” And while this was a hard year for many, was it truly all terrible? Maybe. I don’t want to neglect how hard life is these days. Stressors, financial difficulties, conflict within the world. But that doesn't mean there weren't good moments. It's not to pretend things were perfect, but to hold the nuance that a hard year could have also been filled with joy, connection, fun and probably a ton of tiny wins you didn’t even realize were wins. 

Before you jump to goals, take some time to reflect on your year to take stock of how it was. This can help guide how you plan out the upcoming year. My ritual every year is to sit and journal about this, so here are some questions and journal prompts to get you thinking: 

1. What are some FUN memories this year? 

Was there anywhere you traveled? Any random places you went that were a blast? Any time with friends or family that made you smile?

2. Who did I connect with most?

Sometimes we spend our time with people out of obligation and sometimes we don't even realize how drained we feel after we've seen them. When you think about this question, think about who you saw that made you feel fulfilled, energized, and feeling good after. Who did you feel you truly and deeply connected with? I don't mean who you spent time partying with, I mean who did you sit with and felt really seen by?

3. How did I treat and prioritize myself?

This is an important one. Rather than focus on all the external things, how were you to yourself this year? Did you criticize and judge yourself? Call yourself names? Neglect your needs? Forget to take care of yourself? Or did you have self compassion, kindness toward yourself, and prioritize your needs? Take good care of yourself? And don't feel ashamed if you answered the first ones, most of us are overly critical of ourselves. Something to work on in the new year!

4. How were my boundaries?

Big question, but worth looking at. Did I have any boundaries this year? Did I set them and then forget to uphold them? Were they loose? riigid? Or did you set, maintain, and follow through on them? When you set them, do you feel guilt or confident?

5. What brought me the most joy? 

These are the little moments you smiled, felt good, laughed, felt ease or happiness after. It could be something big like a relationship, it could be the tiny moments- a cup of coffee outside on a spring day or watching the sunset at night. No moment or joy is too small.

6. What self care practices supported me? 

Self care goes beyond face masks and baths. They can be about your bigger systems in place  - habits, routines, movement, social time, nutrition, sleep, etc. Or the micro self care - matcha in the morning, meditations, 5 minute walks, going to a pretty cafe. What self care practices really filled your cup and left you feeling nourished?

7. What places brought me ease and calm?

Somewhere in nature, the beach, a specific vacation spot, home? If I asked you to envision your peaceful place from the past year, where would it be? And a side note/tip - in moments of distress, you can always visualize your space for a few minutes soaking up the five senses and have a moment of calm.

8. Who was I with when I felt most myself?

This is key. When you were truly your most authentic self, who was standing by your side? Your partner? A family member? Friend? Coworker? This tells you a lot.

Intentions & Goal Setting

Now after reflecting on all of that and before you think about the new year, soak in the good moments. Really sit and feel them deeply.  Then think about who and what practices you want to bring with you into the new year. Rather than goals and resolutions, can you set an intention? 

Instead of “I'm gonna be healthier and lose weight” how about “Im going to move my body more mindfully”, “I will only hang out with people who recharge me,” or “I will practice more self compassion this year.”

If you are keen on goals in addition to intentions, make sure they are small! The reason so many don’t maintain and fulfill their goals is because we make big unrealistic or unachievable goals that feel overwhelming and set you up to fail. Instead of “I’m going to go the gym 5 times a week” can you start with ONCE a week? Those tiny habits and goals add up to bigger changes.

Happy New Year!

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