To break the cycle of putting everyone above yourself and start honoring your needs.

People Pleasing & Codependency therapy in New York City

Dried floral arrangement in a white vase with pampas grass, dried flowers, and branches against a neutral background.

Close-up of white fabric texture with slight wrinkles

You’ve always been the giver. Now you’re ready to come back to yourself.

You’re the dependable one, the “easy going” one, the peacemaker. The person others lean on and seek advice from.

Under the surface, you feel anxious, resentful, or unseen. You say yes when you mean no. You avoid conflict, over-apologize, and shape-shift in relationships just to feel safe. You’re exhausted- and wondering when it gets to be your turn to receive.

People pleasing and high functioning codependency aren’t personality flaws. They’re protective patterns, often rooted in trauma, fear, or early experiences where love and approval felt conditional. You may have learned to stay small, stay helpful, or stay silent (fawning) to avoid being rejected, abandoned, or to keep the peace for safety. But now, those strategies are costing you your self-worth, your boundaries, and your peace. It’s time to stop abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable.

While people pleasing often shows up as saying “yes” to keep others happy (read more here), codependency impacts your sense of identity and purpose (read more here). Both run deeper though, It’s not just about over-accommodating - its about losing your sense of self in relationships and neglecting your authenticity. You may feel responsible for others’ emotions, neglect your needs entirely, or stay in unhealthy dynamics because being needed feels safer than being alone. Both patterns are rooted in relational trauma and survival strategies- and both can be unlearned with time.

In therapy, we’ll unpack where these patterns began and work toward building a stronger sense of self- one that doesn’t rely on approval, performance, or peacekeeping. We will work on how to set and maintain boundaries without raging guilt, finally creating more balanced and interdependent relationships. Together, we’ll help you reconnect to your needs, values, your voice, your authenticity, and your worth.

Dried flowers and grasses in a white ribbed vase, including sprigs of baby's breath and pampas grass, arranged in a minimalist style.

Sound like you?

You feel guilty or anxious any time you set a boundary

You prioritize others’ needs and emotions over your own or don’t even know what yours are

You second-guess your decisions and struggle to trust yourself

You don’t know who you are outside of your relationships, being needed, or useful

Here’s what we’ll do together

Codependency and people pleasing therapy can help you feel safe choosing yourself, setting boundaries, and taking up space.

We’'ll take a compassionate, holistic approach to untangle the roots of your people pleasing and/or codependent patterns. That means exploring how these strategies formed, how they’ve helped you survive, and how we can gently shift them without shame. Through trauma-informed care, somatic work, mindful self-compassion skills, inner child healing, and relational therapy, we’ll rebuild your sense of self-one boundary and one moment of self trust at a time.

We won’t just focus on insight, we’ll create felt change. Together, we’ll help your body recognize that it’s safe to speak up, say no, take up space, without losing connection. This is the deep nervous system work that helps you stop abandoning yourself and start living more aligned, embodied, and whole. We will take a look at what emotional needs, values, and hobbies of yours are first - to start rebuilding your identity outside of other people. We will get to know the authentic you and make sure you come back home to yourself.

At the end of the day, I want you to know:

You don’t have to keep earning your worth by over-giving and staying small. You are allowed to take up space, have needs, and be fully, unapologetically yourself. You are worthy of love that doesn’t require self-sacrifice and self-abandonment.

What we’ll work on

Imagine a life where…

You say no or set a boundary without spiraling into guilt or fear
You advocate for your needs without shrinking or over-explaining
You feel confident in who you are - even when other’s don’t agree
Your relationships feel mutual, respectful, and aligned
You stop abandoning yourself and start honoring your needs

You Can Take Up Space Here

Let's Connect!

Questions?

FAQs

Codependency is a pattern where your identity and emotional wellbeing become tied to someone else (read more in depth signs and root causes here). You put other people above yourself constantly, feel responsible for others’ happiness, over-give, or lose yourself in relationships. It’s often rooted in early attachment wounds, unhealthy family dynamics or trauma. You likely have a deep fear of abandonment and stay in relationships that don’t serve you because it feels better than being alone. Therapy can help you heal and reconnect with yourself.
People pleasing goes beyond kindness (read more here) - it involves abandoning your own needs, preferences, or boundaries to avoid conflict and rejection. A way to manage how people see you and regulate THEIR emotions so you feel safe. It’s often driven by fear not love. In therapy, we work to shift from people pleasing to authentic, compassionate connection.
Sometimes relationships shift when you start honoring tour needs- but thats not a bad thing. Healthy relationships can withstand boundaries. In fact, they thrive on them. You don’t have to choose between connection and self-respect you deserve both. If you’d like to learn tips for setting boundaries, read more here.